My article about being emotionally prepared for the end of treatment was published in the Nov/Dec Marian Cancer Center Newsletter (article on page 2 and 3). Click on the link below.
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Good News for the Holidays
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. There's always blessings to be thankful for no matter what is going on in life. Look for the simple things. Do you ever find yourself smiling by an unexpected memory of something that gives you joy? Be thankful for that additional moment of joy a memory can bring.
This Thanksgiving we are thankful for the results of the PET scan and brain CT I had this week. All is clear.
God bless you all as you reflect on past joys, current joys and the joys waiting around the corner.
Love,
Shannon
This Thanksgiving we are thankful for the results of the PET scan and brain CT I had this week. All is clear.
God bless you all as you reflect on past joys, current joys and the joys waiting around the corner.
Love,
Shannon
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Brain Anomaly ...
If you know me, you already know I'm a little off in the head. Call it crazy, sick, not all there... no, just kidding... well, maybe.
But seriously, I received the result of my EEG test. Dr. Clark said there is an area in the right frontal lobe that is not working fully and that it's most likely the cause of the partial seizures I have periodically. This is a result of the tumor and treatment I received there. As long as I take my medication it is fine. There's nothing of great concern about it and there's no need to change the current course of treatment. He will see me in six months and will review any PET and CT scans I have prior to that.
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But seriously, I received the result of my EEG test. Dr. Clark said there is an area in the right frontal lobe that is not working fully and that it's most likely the cause of the partial seizures I have periodically. This is a result of the tumor and treatment I received there. As long as I take my medication it is fine. There's nothing of great concern about it and there's no need to change the current course of treatment. He will see me in six months and will review any PET and CT scans I have prior to that.
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Tuesday, October 05, 2010
No EEG Needles
Who knew? Needles haven't been used for EEG's for some time. And... did you know that before AIDS, when EEG needles were used, they were just cleaned and then reused over and over? Eckkkk!!!
I managed to do pretty well staying awake through the night for my EEG. I only went about one hour over the two hour amount I was "allowed" to sleep for the day. Thankfully they still did the test. I was most definitely sleep deprived.
I had some leads attached to various places, like my ear, my chest, and my forehead. Then a rubber cap was placed on my head with all kinds of holes. Gel is injected into the holes which gets each of those spots to stick to my hair. The gel conducts the electrical "stuff" from my brain to the leads on the cap. I lay back in a reclining chair. The technician said it was best if I could fall asleep. At first I thought that would be no problem because I was already so sleepy, but when I closed my eyes my mind was going a hundred thoughts a second.
Next thing I knew the technician said my name and startled me awake when she said my name. I forgot where I was and thought I had fallen asleep at home and wasn't going to be able to have my test. She could actually see on the computer that I had fallen asleep. Weird. The next part of the test was her flashing a strobe light in front of my closed eyes at different speeds. I felt like it actually did affect me because it felt like my bad leg would get more numb while the light was flashing and wondered if I would have a partial seizure (I didn't). Again, weird.
The test took about 30 minutes. I don't know the results, but just thought I would share the experience. Will keep you posted.
I managed to do pretty well staying awake through the night for my EEG. I only went about one hour over the two hour amount I was "allowed" to sleep for the day. Thankfully they still did the test. I was most definitely sleep deprived.
I had some leads attached to various places, like my ear, my chest, and my forehead. Then a rubber cap was placed on my head with all kinds of holes. Gel is injected into the holes which gets each of those spots to stick to my hair. The gel conducts the electrical "stuff" from my brain to the leads on the cap. I lay back in a reclining chair. The technician said it was best if I could fall asleep. At first I thought that would be no problem because I was already so sleepy, but when I closed my eyes my mind was going a hundred thoughts a second.
Next thing I knew the technician said my name and startled me awake when she said my name. I forgot where I was and thought I had fallen asleep at home and wasn't going to be able to have my test. She could actually see on the computer that I had fallen asleep. Weird. The next part of the test was her flashing a strobe light in front of my closed eyes at different speeds. I felt like it actually did affect me because it felt like my bad leg would get more numb while the light was flashing and wondered if I would have a partial seizure (I didn't). Again, weird.
The test took about 30 minutes. I don't know the results, but just thought I would share the experience. Will keep you posted.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Seizure Management
Many may not know that since my first brain tumor in March 2009, which caused me to have a grand mal seizure, I now periodically have small seizures which are controlled with medication. Even though the seizures are mild, I know when I'm going to have one, how long they will last (about 2 minutes), and exactly how they will be from beginning to end, they are bizarre, intense, and scary every time.
I've been under the care of a UCLA Neuologist, but needed to get a local doctor to help manage me more closely. I met Dr. Clark, in San Luis Obispo, yesterday. Pretty cool guy. To get more of an idea of how my brain is acting I'm going to be having a sleep deprived EEG test on October 1st. Yep, I'm going to have the needles in the head, with wires, and all that fun stuff. If you know me well, then you know how hard it's going to be for me to stay awake all night. I can't even stay awake for the opening credits of a movie on movie night. Makes my kids nuts! I'll come up with some project to keep me busy.
Whatever the test shows probably won't change the way I'm currently being treated, it's just more information, that hopefully will tell where I have damage to the brain from the previous swelling, tumor and seizure, and what I can expect for the future. I don't think Dr. Clark expects the condition to worsen from his initial assessment.
Will keep you posted.
I've been under the care of a UCLA Neuologist, but needed to get a local doctor to help manage me more closely. I met Dr. Clark, in San Luis Obispo, yesterday. Pretty cool guy. To get more of an idea of how my brain is acting I'm going to be having a sleep deprived EEG test on October 1st. Yep, I'm going to have the needles in the head, with wires, and all that fun stuff. If you know me well, then you know how hard it's going to be for me to stay awake all night. I can't even stay awake for the opening credits of a movie on movie night. Makes my kids nuts! I'll come up with some project to keep me busy.
Whatever the test shows probably won't change the way I'm currently being treated, it's just more information, that hopefully will tell where I have damage to the brain from the previous swelling, tumor and seizure, and what I can expect for the future. I don't think Dr. Clark expects the condition to worsen from his initial assessment.
Will keep you posted.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Remember 9/11
It's hard to believe that yesterday was the nine-year anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the airline which brave American citizens fought against the terrorists to keep them from crashing into a highly populated area.
That day was a terrible day. I woke up to the news that a plane had crashed into one of the towers. I thought how could a plane crash into a tower that stood so tall over all the other buildings? Then I watched the live footage of the second plane crashing into the second tower and I knew it was a terrorist attack. It was a moment of disbelief because an attack of this magnitude just didn't happen on our home territory.
I came home from work at lunch time and watched with greater horror, as the towers crumbled to the ground. My heart sank knowing the number of people killed had to be enormous. The tears streamed from my eyes. It's events like this and any moment of great trial, affliction, pain, disease, and loss that we reflect the most on what we have to appreciate in our lives. But we must also look to all the good in our lives to do the same. Be appreciative, always. Strive less for more, and do more for less.
I am guilty of appreciating my life more, because my mortality was placed before my nose when I got cancer. I've learned a great deal and hope that I will continue to grow personally, spiritually, morally, etc. I will fail miserably, again and again, but with God's help, I won't give up.
Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)
Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. (2 Corinthians 4:7)
That day was a terrible day. I woke up to the news that a plane had crashed into one of the towers. I thought how could a plane crash into a tower that stood so tall over all the other buildings? Then I watched the live footage of the second plane crashing into the second tower and I knew it was a terrorist attack. It was a moment of disbelief because an attack of this magnitude just didn't happen on our home territory.
I came home from work at lunch time and watched with greater horror, as the towers crumbled to the ground. My heart sank knowing the number of people killed had to be enormous. The tears streamed from my eyes. It's events like this and any moment of great trial, affliction, pain, disease, and loss that we reflect the most on what we have to appreciate in our lives. But we must also look to all the good in our lives to do the same. Be appreciative, always. Strive less for more, and do more for less.
I am guilty of appreciating my life more, because my mortality was placed before my nose when I got cancer. I've learned a great deal and hope that I will continue to grow personally, spiritually, morally, etc. I will fail miserably, again and again, but with God's help, I won't give up.
Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)
Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. (2 Corinthians 4:7)
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Scan Results & Inspiration
I am glad to report that my PET scan and brain CT from this week showed good results. All is stable. I confess I was pretty worked up before getting the result because I had a terrible feeling there would be something. I've been walking around with cautious joy for several months not really trusting that this would last.
I attended a support group last night that had a special guest who is a musician. He's a self-taught Indian Flute player. It's a beautiful instrument. He plays to recorded music and tells wonderful stories that are inspiring. It reminded me to appreciate that God is good, and to use the gifts within myself to express myself in a healing way.
Writing, as many of you know, is one way that I do that. I've dabbled in painting a bit, but have not done it in almost a year. My new goal is to get some canvas, get out my paints and brushes and start throwing out color. I don't know what will come out, but I will do the same as I do with my writing, by not thinking about it. I'll simply start with one color and see what it becomes. My heart will dictate to my hand and whatever I'm feeling will automatically come out.
God gives us many gifts, but we limit ourselves by our fear. I am going to work on letting my fear work for me instead of against me. What harm could come of that?
Blessings to everyone.
I attended a support group last night that had a special guest who is a musician. He's a self-taught Indian Flute player. It's a beautiful instrument. He plays to recorded music and tells wonderful stories that are inspiring. It reminded me to appreciate that God is good, and to use the gifts within myself to express myself in a healing way.
Writing, as many of you know, is one way that I do that. I've dabbled in painting a bit, but have not done it in almost a year. My new goal is to get some canvas, get out my paints and brushes and start throwing out color. I don't know what will come out, but I will do the same as I do with my writing, by not thinking about it. I'll simply start with one color and see what it becomes. My heart will dictate to my hand and whatever I'm feeling will automatically come out.
God gives us many gifts, but we limit ourselves by our fear. I am going to work on letting my fear work for me instead of against me. What harm could come of that?
Blessings to everyone.
“If you would prepare your heart, and stretch out your hands toward Him, if iniquity were in your hand, and you put it far away, and would not let wickedness dwell in your tents; then surely you could lift up your face without spot; yes, you could be steadfast, and not fear; because you would forget your misery, and remember it as waters that have passed away, and your life would be brighter than noonday. Though you were dark, you would be like the morning. And you would be secure, because there is hope” (Job 11:13-18 NKJV).
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Out-Patient Surgery
Today I had the final surgery of my breast reconstruction. Mike and I left for UCLA at 5 am this morning and got home at 5 pm. Not bad, a twelve-hour turnaround. The surgery was for the nipples. I know that sounds weird, but it's part of the process. It only took 3-1/2 years. I'm wrapped in an ace bandage for two days (pew!), and then I can take them off and just have to have light duty for a few weeks. No heavy lifting.
Thank the Lord for getting me through the rough patches of that time and that I'm well enough now. And I have been feeling very well. It's WONDERFUL! Even my pain has decreased to almost nothing, which I don't know where that comes from. Maybe physical therapy actually kicked in. I'm thinking of postponing the pain injections.
We're back to L.A. on Sunday for a gymnastics meet with Hanna and a combined celebration of her 12th birthday. She's growing up so fast.
Take care! Thanks for checking in.
Thank the Lord for getting me through the rough patches of that time and that I'm well enough now. And I have been feeling very well. It's WONDERFUL! Even my pain has decreased to almost nothing, which I don't know where that comes from. Maybe physical therapy actually kicked in. I'm thinking of postponing the pain injections.
We're back to L.A. on Sunday for a gymnastics meet with Hanna and a combined celebration of her 12th birthday. She's growing up so fast.
Take care! Thanks for checking in.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Procedures and Gymnastics
On August 24, I will receive my first thoracic epidural injection to block to area's I'm having pain. I will have up to two more after that. They are scheduled two weeks apart from each other. If the pain is subsided enough, it's possible I will only need one. It sounds a little scary, but I know it worked really well for my father-in-law. If he can do it, so can I!
On August 26, I am scheduled for the final surgery in my breast reconstruction. This has been 3-1/2 years in the coming. Mike and I will make the trip to UCLA early in the morning. I will have nipple reconstruction which is a fairly quick procedure, and hopefully I'll be checked out and back on the road to home by noon or one o'clock.
After healing, I'll have to go back to have the areola tattooed. Doesn't that sound weird? Then this "bionic" woman will be complete and I can start saving lives.
Hanna will turn 12 years old on August 28 and has a gymnastics meet in Van Nuys that same day. She's so excited to be competing on her birthday, and it will be the first time she's competing at level 5. She's been working very hard the last several weeks and will continue to for the next couple of weeks to prepare as she's still trying to perfect a few skills on the uneven bars, beam, and vault. She's a hard worker and I know she will do it. This Fall is filled with sanctioned meets in an effort to make it to sectionals, and state. What a crazy time it's going to be.
On August 26, I am scheduled for the final surgery in my breast reconstruction. This has been 3-1/2 years in the coming. Mike and I will make the trip to UCLA early in the morning. I will have nipple reconstruction which is a fairly quick procedure, and hopefully I'll be checked out and back on the road to home by noon or one o'clock.
After healing, I'll have to go back to have the areola tattooed. Doesn't that sound weird? Then this "bionic" woman will be complete and I can start saving lives.
Hanna will turn 12 years old on August 28 and has a gymnastics meet in Van Nuys that same day. She's so excited to be competing on her birthday, and it will be the first time she's competing at level 5. She's been working very hard the last several weeks and will continue to for the next couple of weeks to prepare as she's still trying to perfect a few skills on the uneven bars, beam, and vault. She's a hard worker and I know she will do it. This Fall is filled with sanctioned meets in an effort to make it to sectionals, and state. What a crazy time it's going to be.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Pain and Patience
The pain in my side and back is pretty much constant and intense enough that I'm taking pain medication several times a day. I really don't like taking drugs this strong, but at this point I don't have a choice. They make me sick, but for the most part I'm keeping that controlled. During the day I have to tolerate my pain so that I can do my running around. I'm trying to go with the flow of this challenge until a better resolution can be reached.
I met my pain management doctor last week and loved him. He was so easy to talk to. Plus, Dr. DiCarlo conveyed my problem and history to him so well that I didn't have to work hard to convince him that my pain is real and very uncomfortable. When the authorization comes from the insurance I will have an epidural & steroidal nerve block. I may have to have up to three separate injections, but hopefully one will be sufficient and the effectiveness will last up to six months.
Mike is more frustrated with all of this than I am because he's so happy that my cancer is stable he can't stand that I'm having to deal with such pain. Always my hero. I try to keep him encouraged that this too shall pass.
I met my pain management doctor last week and loved him. He was so easy to talk to. Plus, Dr. DiCarlo conveyed my problem and history to him so well that I didn't have to work hard to convince him that my pain is real and very uncomfortable. When the authorization comes from the insurance I will have an epidural & steroidal nerve block. I may have to have up to three separate injections, but hopefully one will be sufficient and the effectiveness will last up to six months.
Mike is more frustrated with all of this than I am because he's so happy that my cancer is stable he can't stand that I'm having to deal with such pain. Always my hero. I try to keep him encouraged that this too shall pass.
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Grace ~ a memoir by Melinda Marchiano
This week I met a young cancer survivor. Her name is Melinda Marchiano and she's 16 years old. She was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma when she was 13. At the cancer center's breast cancer survivors support group meeting this week, Melinda spoke about her story. What an amazing young lady. Very funny, and very inspiring. We were all given a copy of her book, Grace ~ a child's intimate journey through cancer and recovery. I've only just begun reading it, but after hearing her speak and reading just the beginning of the book, I can't wait to read more about her battle with and recovery from cancer.
If you know a young person who has battled or is going through cancer right now, it's a good book from a young persons perspective. I know there will be heart strings pulled, but she's also very funny and, like me has been able to find a lot of ways to laugh through the tough battle.
Visit her website to find out how to get her book and read more about her. She's also a terrific speaker and has done several speaking engagements to adult and child cancer survivors and she keeps you on the edge of your seat listening to her experiences. I was impressed, proud and inspired by her.
More on Melinda Marchiano at http://site.happyquail.net/
If you know a young person who has battled or is going through cancer right now, it's a good book from a young persons perspective. I know there will be heart strings pulled, but she's also very funny and, like me has been able to find a lot of ways to laugh through the tough battle.
Visit her website to find out how to get her book and read more about her. She's also a terrific speaker and has done several speaking engagements to adult and child cancer survivors and she keeps you on the edge of your seat listening to her experiences. I was impressed, proud and inspired by her.
More on Melinda Marchiano at http://site.happyquail.net/
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Finally an Update!
Well, I completed my third round of chemotherapy in March. It was a pretty tough round, but as usual, once it was over I bounced back pretty quickly. I am doing very well. My last few scans have been clear which is a nice change. I still receive Herceptin treatments every three weeks, which is a drug that helps to block that crazy gene that likes to make my cancer go crazy. I also take an oral medication called Tykerb that serves the same purpose but crosses into the brain to block the same gene.
For some time I have been dealing with chronic pain in my right ribs and back on the right side. We know that it is not caused by disease. It is in the nerves / muscle tissue and is most likely long term side effects of radiation treatment. I'll be seeing a pain management doctor soon and will hopefully be able to get injection to block the pain. That's my desire anyway so I don't have to take pain killers all the time.
Even with that, I'm keeping active and the summer has been especially busy with all kinds of things. Hanna's busy with gymnastics, Andy had a pig in the fair which sold for a good price at auction, and I was the Honorary Chairperson at our local American Cancer Society Relay for Life. Mike is busy following us all around, and enjoys a round of golf whenever he can.
For some time I have been dealing with chronic pain in my right ribs and back on the right side. We know that it is not caused by disease. It is in the nerves / muscle tissue and is most likely long term side effects of radiation treatment. I'll be seeing a pain management doctor soon and will hopefully be able to get injection to block the pain. That's my desire anyway so I don't have to take pain killers all the time.
Even with that, I'm keeping active and the summer has been especially busy with all kinds of things. Hanna's busy with gymnastics, Andy had a pig in the fair which sold for a good price at auction, and I was the Honorary Chairperson at our local American Cancer Society Relay for Life. Mike is busy following us all around, and enjoys a round of golf whenever he can.
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| April 2010 |
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| Hanna competing in Thousand Oaks |
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| Andy & Herbert the Swine at the fair |
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| After giving my speech at Relay for Life |
Adventures in Writing
I have just completed writing a book about my journey with cancer. What an amazing trip. A friend of mine challenged me to write my story, and being an experienced editor and published author, she has mentored me through the process over the past nine months. My hope is that anyone who reads my story, whether a cancer survivor, caregiver, or someone who has experienced anything really hard will be encouraged and find hope in their own journey.
Publishing is pending acceptance, and I will give an update on that as soon as I can. If the publisher does not wish to take on my story, then I will take the steps to self publish it with the help of my editor. However the publishing is done, I'm hoping it will open more doors to helping other survivors see the light of HOPE always flickering before them.
Publishing is pending acceptance, and I will give an update on that as soon as I can. If the publisher does not wish to take on my story, then I will take the steps to self publish it with the help of my editor. However the publishing is done, I'm hoping it will open more doors to helping other survivors see the light of HOPE always flickering before them.
Words of Hope
God is working in my life all the time. Although having cancer isn't exactly a path I would choose, I can say I wouldn't change it if I could. I've grown so much in my faith and know that although I don't believe God caused this to happen, He will use it as a tool for me to grow in my life, and for me to be of service to others because of my experiences.
I recently came across the following scripture which is really encouraging to me. Sometimes it's really hard to understand the Word of God, and other times it just makes sense, and the Lord reveals just what I need when I need it.
I recently came across the following scripture which is really encouraging to me. Sometimes it's really hard to understand the Word of God, and other times it just makes sense, and the Lord reveals just what I need when I need it.
"For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal (2 Cor. 4:15-18 NKJV)."
“For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God (Romans 8:14-27 NASB)."
Diagnosis
I have stage IV breast cancer. There have been many battles between being diagnosed in May of 2005 and now, and the list is very long. I will always have to fight to hold this disease back, but life is good and I am not defeated.