Many may not know that since my first brain tumor in March 2009, which caused me to have a grand mal seizure, I now periodically have small seizures which are controlled with medication. Even though the seizures are mild, I know when I'm going to have one, how long they will last (about 2 minutes), and exactly how they will be from beginning to end, they are bizarre, intense, and scary every time.
I've been under the care of a UCLA Neuologist, but needed to get a local doctor to help manage me more closely. I met Dr. Clark, in San Luis Obispo, yesterday. Pretty cool guy. To get more of an idea of how my brain is acting I'm going to be having a sleep deprived EEG test on October 1st. Yep, I'm going to have the needles in the head, with wires, and all that fun stuff. If you know me well, then you know how hard it's going to be for me to stay awake all night. I can't even stay awake for the opening credits of a movie on movie night. Makes my kids nuts! I'll come up with some project to keep me busy.
Whatever the test shows probably won't change the way I'm currently being treated, it's just more information, that hopefully will tell where I have damage to the brain from the previous swelling, tumor and seizure, and what I can expect for the future. I don't think Dr. Clark expects the condition to worsen from his initial assessment.
Will keep you posted.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Remember 9/11
It's hard to believe that yesterday was the nine-year anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the airline which brave American citizens fought against the terrorists to keep them from crashing into a highly populated area.
That day was a terrible day. I woke up to the news that a plane had crashed into one of the towers. I thought how could a plane crash into a tower that stood so tall over all the other buildings? Then I watched the live footage of the second plane crashing into the second tower and I knew it was a terrorist attack. It was a moment of disbelief because an attack of this magnitude just didn't happen on our home territory.
I came home from work at lunch time and watched with greater horror, as the towers crumbled to the ground. My heart sank knowing the number of people killed had to be enormous. The tears streamed from my eyes. It's events like this and any moment of great trial, affliction, pain, disease, and loss that we reflect the most on what we have to appreciate in our lives. But we must also look to all the good in our lives to do the same. Be appreciative, always. Strive less for more, and do more for less.
I am guilty of appreciating my life more, because my mortality was placed before my nose when I got cancer. I've learned a great deal and hope that I will continue to grow personally, spiritually, morally, etc. I will fail miserably, again and again, but with God's help, I won't give up.
Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)
Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. (2 Corinthians 4:7)
That day was a terrible day. I woke up to the news that a plane had crashed into one of the towers. I thought how could a plane crash into a tower that stood so tall over all the other buildings? Then I watched the live footage of the second plane crashing into the second tower and I knew it was a terrorist attack. It was a moment of disbelief because an attack of this magnitude just didn't happen on our home territory.
I came home from work at lunch time and watched with greater horror, as the towers crumbled to the ground. My heart sank knowing the number of people killed had to be enormous. The tears streamed from my eyes. It's events like this and any moment of great trial, affliction, pain, disease, and loss that we reflect the most on what we have to appreciate in our lives. But we must also look to all the good in our lives to do the same. Be appreciative, always. Strive less for more, and do more for less.
I am guilty of appreciating my life more, because my mortality was placed before my nose when I got cancer. I've learned a great deal and hope that I will continue to grow personally, spiritually, morally, etc. I will fail miserably, again and again, but with God's help, I won't give up.
Our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)
Our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. (2 Corinthians 4:7)
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Scan Results & Inspiration
I am glad to report that my PET scan and brain CT from this week showed good results. All is stable. I confess I was pretty worked up before getting the result because I had a terrible feeling there would be something. I've been walking around with cautious joy for several months not really trusting that this would last.
I attended a support group last night that had a special guest who is a musician. He's a self-taught Indian Flute player. It's a beautiful instrument. He plays to recorded music and tells wonderful stories that are inspiring. It reminded me to appreciate that God is good, and to use the gifts within myself to express myself in a healing way.
Writing, as many of you know, is one way that I do that. I've dabbled in painting a bit, but have not done it in almost a year. My new goal is to get some canvas, get out my paints and brushes and start throwing out color. I don't know what will come out, but I will do the same as I do with my writing, by not thinking about it. I'll simply start with one color and see what it becomes. My heart will dictate to my hand and whatever I'm feeling will automatically come out.
God gives us many gifts, but we limit ourselves by our fear. I am going to work on letting my fear work for me instead of against me. What harm could come of that?
Blessings to everyone.
I attended a support group last night that had a special guest who is a musician. He's a self-taught Indian Flute player. It's a beautiful instrument. He plays to recorded music and tells wonderful stories that are inspiring. It reminded me to appreciate that God is good, and to use the gifts within myself to express myself in a healing way.
Writing, as many of you know, is one way that I do that. I've dabbled in painting a bit, but have not done it in almost a year. My new goal is to get some canvas, get out my paints and brushes and start throwing out color. I don't know what will come out, but I will do the same as I do with my writing, by not thinking about it. I'll simply start with one color and see what it becomes. My heart will dictate to my hand and whatever I'm feeling will automatically come out.
God gives us many gifts, but we limit ourselves by our fear. I am going to work on letting my fear work for me instead of against me. What harm could come of that?
Blessings to everyone.
“If you would prepare your heart, and stretch out your hands toward Him, if iniquity were in your hand, and you put it far away, and would not let wickedness dwell in your tents; then surely you could lift up your face without spot; yes, you could be steadfast, and not fear; because you would forget your misery, and remember it as waters that have passed away, and your life would be brighter than noonday. Though you were dark, you would be like the morning. And you would be secure, because there is hope” (Job 11:13-18 NKJV).