Shannon’s Hope

After 6 hard years of fighting breast cancer, Shannon died suddenly Monday evening. Although we, her family, miss her terribly, we are thankful that she has moved onto a better and more peaceful place.

The memorial service is Saturday at 11AM

Pine Grove Baptist Church

Pastor Bruce McLain

5551 S. Bradley Road

Santa Maria, CA 93457-2088

Church Phone: 805-937-4538

Memorial gifts and flowers can be sent directly to Pine Grove Baptist Church.

Happy Anniversary to Me

Now that I have all that venting aside, it's time to take a minute to reflect.  Six years ago today, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It's a day locked in my memory forever.  I can feel the butterflies in my stomach as I remember the moment I knew I would be told I had cancer.

Like everything else in life, cancer has it's milestones.  One year as a cancer survivor.  Every year after that is a milestone, but there are the "big" birthdays.... FIVE years as a cancer survivor.  And now I'm at six.  The in between years that will lead to the big ten.  So what am I reflecting on?  Well, right now, I'm reflecting on my complaining day the other day.  That's just kind of how it goes.  Still being in the throws of fighting this disease, those days come and go and a part of coping and processing the ups and downs...the ebb and flow of issues that are a part of my daily life.

Those kind of days are usually followed by clarification that I am strong and there are a whole lot more good, normal days, and most are a result of the choices I make to endure and make the best of every situation.  I am inspired by many fighting their own battles.  Not just battles with cancer.  People like those who have no home because a tornado has swept it from its foundation, or the many homes and farms and businesses that are destroyed by the floods in the South.  I cannot imagine this kind of devastation.

We are all survivors.  What incredible spirits we have to take what we're given and carry on.  The power we have to turn it around and make the most of it, to become a source of inspiration to the next person who will fall on hard times, tragedy, loss, illness.

So, Happy Birthday to Me!  I celebrate another year of life, and another day which is a gift that I cherish.

Can I Vent?

I have been battling a cough for, oh, a few years.  Basically since I had radiation to my ribs and chest.  It's been called pneumonitis, but in short, it's a cough; a side effect of treatment.

With my recent problems affecting my breathing it seems this cough is even more annoying than ever.  No amount of coughing helps to actually clear the irritant that is there.  This is very wearing on the spirit, I'll tell you, and I'm working very hard to remain positive.  But it is hard when this continual hacking interrups my conversation, my rest, my sleep, my concentration, my eating, my drinking, and everything else in between.  Sometimes I just want to cry, and others I just treat it as a normal part of my life.  What else can I do?

This problem is also having a pretty frustrating affect on Mike too.  He can't fix it, and he's beyond annoyed that no physician has been successful in controlling it.

The chemotherapy I'm doing now has been pretty mild.  I don't get sick, just tired.  We keep close track of my red and white blood counts, and I get injections to boost them if they are low.  My hair is falling out slowly.  I can tell it's a lot thinner, but I don't have any big bald spots, so I keep up my fuzzy spikey doo.  Maybe by the time I'm all done with treatment, it will just thicken back up.  That would be a nice.

So, why am I sitting here venting... otherwise known as complaining?  Because it feels good to let it out. And then I can say what the positive things are that help to keep me going...

1.  My breathing is good, which means that the chemo is doing its job.
2.  I'm not too tired to function and do normal things.
3.  My family is doing well.
4.  I had a nice Mother's Day, and am so grateful for the beautiful kids that I have been blessed with.
5.  Now that I've vented, I can move on to more positive thinking.

A Challenging Month

April has certainly been a challenge.  At the beginning of the month I began having difficulty breathing.  I was thinking, "oh, I'm so out of shape."  Which, I am, but that was not reason for my extreme breathlessness.  After a trip to the doctor, who then sent me to ER it was determined that a cancerous lymph node in my right chest had become enlarged and was pushing on my airway.  Two days later I began chemotherapy.  

So far I have had two treatments, a week apart, and last week I had off.  Last week I also had increasing difficulty with my breathing, and was coughing and wheezing a lot and ended up in ER again last Monday.   This time my breathing was more a result (or combo maybe) of the tumor, plus a very low white blood cell count because of chemo.  

It is so difficult to do anything when you can't catch your breath.  Even eating, slowly, made me out of breath.  By the end of last week I was feeling quite sorry for myself.  I'm happy to report that attitude has made a complete 180.  Today I felt so incredible.  I had quite a busy day, coughed very minimally, and felt so physically great because I could do things without being exhausted.  I like good days like today.

I will try to remember that in the next two weeks as I have a chemo treatment tomorrow (Wed.), and the following week.  I'm sure my counts will drop again, and I could end up in the same predicament.  However, if the tumor keeps on shrinking, then it will also help.  God let me know in a very real way, the other night, that I am a tough cookie, and I can do this...again.  I shall work to remain humble in my predicament, and hold on to the HOPE that God gives to me through His grace.

Reminded by my lovely friend, Laura in Lisbon... from the book "If God is Good - Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil" by Randy Alcorn

"If God brought eternal joy through the suffering of Jesus, can he bring eternal joy through my present suffering, and yours?  If Jesus endured his suffering through anticipating the reward of unending joy, can he empower you and me to do the same?" (p. 216)

You bet He can, because already has.

Brain Radiation - 3rd Go-Roun

So this is my third time at this brain radiation thing.  I have stuff to show this time.  It's a little surreal to come off sounding all matter-of-fact about it, but the process for my case is pretty simple (except maybe the math).  I'm so glad they have this technology and can do it so precisely not to damage brain tissue outside the tumor zone.  It's quite amazing.  I'm ditzy enough, so don't need any extra help.

My first tumor which was surgically removed was in the left parietal lobe of the brain.  The radiated that after surgery healed.  The second tumor showed up in Right frontal lobe and got zappedd, and now the third is just below the first in the Occipital lobe.

The bottom video is me getting the mask made for treatment in March.  Actual treatment took place April 15, 2011.  My head was strapped down tight to the table.  I think my molars are all perfectly aligned now.  Treatment took about 15-20 minutes as the machine and the table I'm lying on move to their different positions, which seemed like about 10.  A lot for a little tumor.  But I say little tumor, big problem, zap it.  Sha-Zahm!!

I got to keep the mask, which I will post a photo of later.  I think it's still in the car.  So, one more task done.  One more tumor zapped.  And it had not grown from diagnosis to treatment, so that is very good. I just love a well-behaved tumor.

Bottom of mask under head, waiting for the top to be pinned on next.

A wide view of the room. Giant machine and the table rotate all directions.

Now the mask is bolted down.  I cannot move my head.

Tried to post the video of the mask being made, but it was taking way too long to upload.  So pictures is what you get.  That mask above was so tight I though my teeth were going to crack.  Didn't hurt, but it was like being in a really hard head lock... which basically I was.  

And this concludes my program on brain stereotactic radiosurgery.  Surgery without the use of a knife.  Hope you enjoyed.  Ya'll come back now, ya h'ear!

This Weeks Chemo

Received chemo on Wednesday and that all went well.  Enjoyed working on my bible study on the Book of Esther.  The scripture references given from various books were uplifting and encouraged me strive more to be a better person, with a good attitude.  We can never have too much of that.

By the end of the day after treatment my body ached like I had a fever and the lack of sleep from the previous night began to catch up with me.  I took a sleep aid... actually two sleep aids, and slept like a rock through the night.  I felt completely drugged out and couldn't wake up in the morning.  I slept until noon,  woke up for less than an hour then slept on and off through the rest of the day until bed time.  Amazingly I slept through the night after all that.  WARNING!!  Don't double up on your sleep aid.  That was dumb.

This morning I feel great.  Fresh, rested and ready for my trip to UCLA for my brain radiation today.  Hanna is taking the day off from school to go with us.  She wanted to see just what this radiation business is all about.  It will be nice to have her there.  We're stopping off for a quick little visit with my sister for a little lunch first, and then my appointment is at 1:20.

Next week I don't have any chemo.  It's Spring Break, so the kids will be out of school and that will be nice.  Andy going to a mini camping trip with youth group.  Hanna's trip to Magic Mountain got cancelled so I'm going to have to come up with something fun for her.  She's so disappointed.

Have a good weekend.

Feelin' Fine

After first chemotherapy last week, I am doing well.  I do believe that it along with steroids are making a difference.  Have some pain which is being well controlled with Vicodin.  My face is beat red from the steroids I guess.  I look like I just got back from the beach.  If only it were that warm, eh!

Update

Had my first chemo treatment yesterday (Wed.) rather than today.  Dr. DiCarlo wanted to get it going.   Go Doc!  I felt pretty good after wards.  Had a mild headhace and heartburn, both which cleared up.  I was up around 3 am with a little nausea, but took something for that and went back to bed and slept like a baby. Feel pretty good this morning.  Have a few things to do today...mostly at home, but some errands.  Otherwise, plant to take things easy so I will stay aware of any signs of feeling "off".

Have already received an outpouring of support from everyone, and I appreciate that always.  Especially all of the prayers.  I am at peace with this and having that will make it all the easier to do.

There was a correction in the way I will receive my chemo.  It will be weekly for two weeks, then one week off.  Have to have blood drawn each day before treatment to be sure my blood counts are okay to receive the next treatments.  The chance of the counts being too low is slight, so I should be able to have the treatments uninterrupted.

Continue to keep you posted.

Chemo, yet again!

The past two days have been interesting and challenging to say the least.

Monday started off with realizing around 8:30 in the morning that I had pleurisy.  I was able to get in to see the doctor right away.  My breathing was very labored and the pain from the pleurisy pretty bad.  My oxygen and heart rate were not terrible but not great either.  After Dr. Voegele was done with me he sent me home to meet Mike and off to ER we went.

I had blood work to check that I didn't have blood clot, a chest x-ray, which apparently wasn't great looking, and then a CT scan of the chest.  My right lung came up almost completely white, which to the ER doc signaled a mass.  We listened to his report intently and calmly, and I promptly fell apart as soon as he left.  Thankfully after a call to my oncologist, he was given more information on my history of the right lung.  It was later determined by Dr. DiCarlo that the hilar lymph node in the chest which has shown activity for some time is now growing and is pushing on the right side of my bronchial tube and obstructing the air to my right lung.  The lung is almost completely collapsed.  Thankfully I did not have to be admitted to the hospital, but it felt like I had been after seven hours there.

Today I saw Dr. DiCarlo.  We have to reduce the obstruction and stop the lymph node from growing.  So, I start chemotherapy on Thursday morning, April 7.  I will have a drug that shouldn't make my hair fall out, make me sick, and will be generally tolerable.  Treatments will be every three weeks (how many I don't know).  The doctor expects the tumor to shrink quickly, hopefully within the first three days after the first treatment.  If it doesn't, he may have add another chemo agent.  I will keep you posted.

I may also be seeing a pulmonary specialist in Santa Barbara and will find out more on that after Dr. DiCarlo has had a chance to talk to the other doctor.  Mike, the kids and me are doing well.  I'm grateful for the ability to have treatment.  Even the steroids I'm on again I'm looking at in a positive light because they will help take down some of the inflammation in the lung and irritated bronchial tube.  Prayers are always appreciated.  This too shall pass.

Hugs to all.

Shannon

Update for Treatment

Friday, April 1st, I will be traveling to UCLA to have my mask made for brain radiation.  The process is very interesting.  The technicians soak a hard mesh-like material in hot water to make it soft.  I lay on the table of a CT scan machine, and then they place the soft (and very warm) mesh first behind my head.  They shape is to my head and let it cool until it is hardened.  The second piece is for the face.  They make a hole for the nose and the eyes.  Once that is hardened they attached pieces (don't what to call them) to the side of front and back forms.  Then they put dowels through those to which go into a holder on the table making it so that I am unable to move my head.

Then a CT scan is done of my skull/brain.  This CT gives them the information they need to create the radiation plan.  It takes 2-3 weeks for the plan to be made.  Once that is done, they will schedule my radiation treatment.  When I have the radiation, I'm in a different room on a table, and again I wear the mask, and am pinned down to the table.  My head is exactly in the same position as it was in the set up process.

The process for making the mask only takes about 15 minutes, and the radiation about 15-20.  The actually time of receiving radiation is probably less than 10 minutes.  After that, they put my mask in a bag, and home I go with my mask.  Maybe this time, I'll make something interesting out of my mask form.  There are a lot of patients who actually do turn their mask into a piece of art.  They have photo's and some masks displayed in the waiting room.  Very interesting.

When all is done for this one, I will post some pictures.

Thanks for checking in.

Brain Radiation

Had consultation with radiation oncologist at UCLA on Friday.  Long day, easy resolution.  Treatment will again be one-time treatment of steriotactic radiosurgery.  I will get a call to schedule the radiation set up once they get prior auth. from insurance.  A special mask is made, then CT of the head with the mask on.  Takes about 20 minutes.

Once set up is done, it will take about 2 to 3 weeks to create the plan from the set up CT scan, then I will be scheduled for treatment.  So, in short, some time in April I will have treatment.  There could be minor side effects from treatment like headache and/or nausea, but not likely.  The strange and interesting thing is that if swelling were to occur, it wouldn't happen for about six months.  Weird.

We are doing very well, and ready to get it on!

As always, thanks for your support.

Book is Getting Close

I am VERY VERY close to the publishing stage of my book.  It's very exciting.  Hoping for a May release because May 12th is the 6th anniversary of my diagnosis.  That makes it a little more bitter-sweet.

Thank you to everyone who has encourage, helped and contributed to this work.  We'll have a big party and signing when it comes out.

Radiation Consultation

I have appointment with Dr. Selch, my radiation oncologist at UCLA this Friday at 3:00.  Ugh, late appointments, mean evening traffic.  We like the 9:00 am appointments.  We can be gone and back by noon on those days.  But that's alright, we're just happy to have the ball rolling.

Hoping they will go ahead and to the set up process of making the mask while I'm there.  It's a quick procedure, but may depend on how busy they are.

Keep praying that the tumor doesn't keep growing, or if it does it grows very slowly.

Hugs and Love,
Shannon

New Findings

I had a CT of the brain on February 14th which showed a new finding in the left occipital lobe (lower/back side of brain).  The lesion is very small at 9mm.  My doctor sent the CD to my radiation oncologist at UCLA.  After they spoke, they both agreed that it will be better to wait and get another scan before making any decisions.

My next treatment is on March 21st.  Before that appointment I will have another CT of the brain as well as a whole body PET scan.

We are doing alright with this.  Still processing a little bit, bummed out, but also grateful for the long period of time (over a year) of clear scans.  Also, this is treatable.  When the time is right, I will most like have stereotactic radiation to the tumor site, which is a single dose radiation treatment.

Please keep in prayer that there won't be any new lesions anywhere else.

Hugs.
Shannon

Scans

Saw Dr. DiCarlo on Monday.  In 2010 I had four PET scans with no change in tumor activity.  The treatments I continue to receive are keeping those pesky cancer cells from taking over.  So with a year of good scans behind me, I now get to extend the interval between scans from three months to six months.  I've had a PET scan every three months for the last three years, so this is an awesome thing.  I will still continue getting a CT of the brain every three months.  We're praying for another positive year of good health.