You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

Monday, May 09, 2011

Can I Vent?

I have been battling a cough for, oh, a few years.  Basically since I had radiation to my ribs and chest.  It's been called pneumonitis, but in short, it's a cough; a side effect of treatment.

With my recent problems affecting my breathing it seems this cough is even more annoying than ever.  No amount of coughing helps to actually clear the irritant that is there.  This is very wearing on the spirit, I'll tell you, and I'm working very hard to remain positive.  But it is hard when this continual hacking interrups my conversation, my rest, my sleep, my concentration, my eating, my drinking, and everything else in between.  Sometimes I just want to cry, and others I just treat it as a normal part of my life.  What else can I do?

This problem is also having a pretty frustrating affect on Mike too.  He can't fix it, and he's beyond annoyed that no physician has been successful in controlling it.

The chemotherapy I'm doing now has been pretty mild.  I don't get sick, just tired.  We keep close track of my red and white blood counts, and I get injections to boost them if they are low.  My hair is falling out slowly.  I can tell it's a lot thinner, but I don't have any big bald spots, so I keep up my fuzzy spikey doo.  Maybe by the time I'm all done with treatment, it will just thicken back up.  That would be a nice.

So, why am I sitting here venting... otherwise known as complaining?  Because it feels good to let it out. And then I can say what the positive things are that help to keep me going...

1.  My breathing is good, which means that the chemo is doing its job.
2.  I'm not too tired to function and do normal things.
3.  My family is doing well.
4.  I had a nice Mother's Day, and am so grateful for the beautiful kids that I have been blessed with.
5.  Now that I've vented, I can move on to more positive thinking.

2 comments:

A Wray Me said...

hahaha.
i love your venting.
thanks for sharing. it makes target praying much easier.
i too have a cough that i have had for atleast two years. every day all day long. no one knows why or how to fix it. they now think it is athsma. boo:( the most annoying for me is being interupted during a good belly laugh to cough up a lung. at least, like you, i am still lauging and keeping positive. much love dear friend

Unknown said...

My well your flakey friend thinks you even write your venting like it was poetry, you r such a trooper, I don't like that dumb cough you have either, it interrupts. Ur funniness.jk..lol. I love you and I pray God's healing hand will help you...